"Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard."
Well, hello, my name is Kayleigh O'Brien. I understand that nobody will really read the first blog I ever post. It'll take some time before you girls start to like me and tune into all the posts I write. I'm new to this blog obviously, but not to the "ana" world or to blogger for that matter. I don't have an eating disorder - I think we need to get that straight first. I'm just literally obsessed with calorie counting and exercising and one of my goals to reach below 100 pounds. I know I'll be there soon!
Last time I checked I was 133 pounds but that was last week and since then I'm happy to inform you that I got married! I changed my name to O'Brien and I couldn't be more happy! I just turned 18, though, so I'm still just a baby. My husband is 19. We went on a lovely honey moon in the mountains with a hot tub in the bedroom (forgot to bring bathing suits - skinny dipped the whole time), a porch swing off the back to watch the sunset, horseback riding, and five star dining. After that the scale spit out a number six pounds heavier than where I used to be. But, I ate today knowing I will starve tomorrow.
My belly is poochy and puffy and I don't feel very good. I just got my period after being three weeks late so that may have something to do with it. My mom says I'm under a lot of stress from the wedding, I thought I was pregnant. Thank God I'm not. I ate today, breakfast at the cabin and chinease when we got home, plus mom is making a homemade dinner tonight that I will eat, with a smile. Tomorrow is when I start restricting under 700 - I never work out on Sundays though becase it's a very busy day for me from church and socails.
I want so desprately to feel thin again. I want people to lust after me - both genders. I want my husband to be proud of the girl that holds his heart. I want my family to gawk over me. I want fashionable clothes to hang off my bones. I want to walk on air and float away with the breeze. I don't want to be fat anymore.
First of all, I absolutely love that song. I used to be so obsessed with Coldplay. I feel kind of special for reading your first post=P Congratulations on getting married! That is so lovely. Do you mind me asking how tall you are? I was just kind of wondering, but I really don't want to seem nosy. That honeymoon sounds so sweet. I'm glad you had fun. Good luck restricting tomorrow! I can't wait for your next post.
ReplyDelete~Cora
I'm so excited to see what more you have to say.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on getting married! That is such a beautiful thing.
And also, thank you for your comment on my post.
I'm so excited to be following you!
xx