Downcast Days

I'm sorry again for not posting yesterday. My excuse was not the thunderstorms but my husband got this new computer game called Age of Empires and now he's spending all the time on the computer instead of the xbox. I'm still a newlywed though, so my patience is great.

Yesterday was a sucess. I weighed in at 136.5 lbs which is a 1.5 lb loss! For breakfast/lunch (because I woke up so late) I had egg salad on toast (190 cals). Did you know that one measly tbsp of mayo is 100 calories? Damn. For lunch I had a banana (172 cals). My husband took me out for dinner and I had baked flounder with a baked potato and green beans (390 cals?). I didn't eat much. We came home and played computer games all night, I splurged on some chedder cheese popcorn (160 cals). Thankfully though, I spent an hour at the gym and burned -458 calories! Interval training is amazing for burning calories!

My net intake for yesterday was 454. Lovely. I also have to mention that I'm on my period so I know there's a few pounds in my weight that will take little to know work to just shedd off. I should be off it in a few days.

Today hasn't really started for me yet. I know I won't be able to post tonight but this is my plan: workout for about an hour to burn another close to 500 calories, eat a boiled egg and toast (140 cals), eat a banana (172 cals), go grocery shopping, cook a wonderful dinner of flounder baked potatoe and green beans (it's what I ate at the resturaunt last night but I want to see if I can recreate it, because I love the challenge!) That dinner will probably be 300 to 400 calories. Let's see if I can live up to that plan.

Thanks the darling that gave me an award - you are lovely! So very lovely! And here are 7 things about myself: 1) I got married a week ago because everyone thought I was pregnant, turns out I just skipped a period but we're still pretty madly in love
2) My husband and I live at home so it makes it hard to not eat even when he's working
3) I'm a church girl and am pretty heavily involved in ministry. Ironic, huh?
4) I've thought I was fat even when I was at my lowest of 112 lbs.
5) I'm biased to girls who are 5'4" like me, because I know your world!
6) I have scary dreams at night that keep me from sleeping, I don't sleep at all some nights
7) I have a tumblr you guys should follow me on: http://mochakiss.tumblr.com/

Thunderstorms

I wanted to post last night but there was a pretty bad thunderstorm in Georgia that knocked out our internet. I was sort of glad about it though because all day Sunday I failed miserably. Well, not all day... I smoothly avoided the doughnuts and coffee at church but when my family and friends went out to El Sombrero I binged bad. Like, right in front of everyone stuffing my face full of chips and salsa and beans and chicken - telling them how hungry I was. Bad day. I had around 8 to 900 calories in just one sitting!

As if that wasn't bad I also dabbled with mom's cooking later that night, no more than 400 calories but I should have just avoided it all together. I realized something about myself yesterday that is worth noting. I will never again allow myself to start anything on the weekends. It never works out to my advantage. Even when I'm on a good track with restricting and eating healthy - on the weekends? Forget it because nothing ever goes as planned.

Today on the other hand went grand! It started with oatmeal (159 cals). I cleaned all day while my husband was at work which was a great work out. For lunch I had half a banana (86 calories). Before the gym I had a bowl of special K (180 calories) and while I was at the gym I burned (-133 calories). For dinner I had a hard boiled egg and dry toast (140 calories). All in all? 565 calories, 432 net calories. Job well done.

I weighed in today at 138 lbs. Down one from yesterday. That's good at least! I can't wait to see what number it is tomorrow! I love seeing my numbers drop, even if it one pound at a time!

The Scientist

"Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be this hard."

Well, hello, my name is Kayleigh O'Brien. I understand that nobody will really read the first blog I ever post. It'll take some time before you girls start to like me and tune into all the posts I write. I'm new to this blog obviously, but not to the "ana" world or to blogger for that matter. I don't have an eating disorder - I think we need to get that straight first. I'm just literally obsessed with calorie counting and exercising and one of my goals to reach below 100 pounds. I know I'll be there soon!

Last time I checked I was 133 pounds but that was last week and since then I'm happy to inform you that I got married! I changed my name to O'Brien and I couldn't be more happy! I just turned 18, though, so I'm still just a baby. My husband is 19. We went on a lovely honey moon in the mountains with a hot tub in the bedroom (forgot to bring bathing suits - skinny dipped the whole time), a porch swing off the back to watch the sunset, horseback riding, and five star dining. After that the scale spit out a number six pounds heavier than where I used to be. But, I ate today knowing I will starve tomorrow.

My belly is poochy and puffy and I don't feel very good. I just got my period after being three weeks late so that may have something to do with it. My mom says I'm under a lot of stress from the wedding, I thought I was pregnant. Thank God I'm not. I ate today, breakfast at the cabin and chinease when we got home, plus mom is making a homemade dinner tonight that I will eat, with a smile. Tomorrow is when I start restricting under 700 - I never work out on Sundays though becase it's a very busy day for me from church and socails.

I want so desprately to feel thin again. I want people to lust after me - both genders. I want my husband to be proud of the girl that holds his heart. I want my family to gawk over me. I want fashionable clothes to hang off my bones. I want to walk on air and float away with the breeze. I don't want to be fat anymore.